Adjusting to Change / Life Transitions
One of the most difficult realities of life is that change is the only constant. Seasons change, people come and go, all that lives dies. We often spend so much of our lives trying to achieve our goals, arrange our lives in the manner we desire, and hang onto pleasant situations and avoid unpleasant ones. Sometimes, what is good lasts and what is hard ends quickly; at other times, the reverse is true. One thing to remember is that change often a stressor, and if you have experienced major changes in your life – such a losing a job or relationship, moving, or entering a new phase of life like retirement or “the empty nest” – stress is a near certainty, and quite normal. Therapy can help you make changes in yourself to adjust to changes outside yourself. It can also help you get in touch with what is enduring, such as your values, strengths, close social support system, and spiritual faith.
Top Stressful Changes in Life
Research by psychologists over many years has produced the following list of stressful events. Do any apply to you? Add up their values and give yourself a score. If your score is over 40, therapy is probably a good idea to consider, and if it is over 60, therapy is highly recommended.
STRESSFULNESS LIFE EVENT
100 Death of spouse
73 Divorce
65 Marital separation
63 Jail term
63 Death of close family member (except spouse)
53 Major personal injury or illness
50 Marriage
47 Being fired from work
45 Marital reconciliation
45 Retirement
44 Change in health of family member (not self)
40 Pregnancy
39 Sex difficulties
39 Gain of new family member
39 Business readjustment
38 Change in financial state
37 Death of close friend
36 Change to different occupation
35 Change in number of arguments with spouse
31 Mortgage over $40,000
30 Foreclosure of mortgage or loan
29 Change in responsibilities at work
29 Son or daughter leaving home
29 Trouble with in-laws
28 Outstanding personal achievement
26 Spouse begins or stops work
26 Begin or end school
25 Change in living conditions
24 Change in personal habits (self or family)
23 Trouble with boss
20 Change in work hours or conditions
20 Change in residence
20 Change in schools
19 Change in recreation
19 Change in church activities
18 Change in social activities
17 Mortgage or loan less than $40,000
16 Change in sleeping habits
15 Change in number of family get-togethers
13 Change in eating habits
13 Vacation
12 Christmas
11 Minor violations of the law
