Category Archives: Marriage / Relationships

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Emotions: Is It Important To Take Responsibility For How We Feel?

emotions, Therapist in San Jose, San Jose Counseling, San Jose Counselor, San Jose Therapist, San Jose Therapy, San Jose Psychotherapist, San Jose Psychotherapy, San Jose Psychologist, marriage family therapist, divorce, teen therapy, individual therapy, family therapy, couples counseling, Chris Jones, MFT

If one was to think about someone they appreciate, there is a strong chance that they will end up feeling ‘good’. Yet, if they were to think about someone who presses their buttons, for instance, they are unlikely to have the same emotional experience. And when they feel good, there is not much chance of […]

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Communicating in Relationships – Part 2

communication, relationships, Therapist in San Jose, San Jose Counseling, San Jose Counselor, San Jose Therapist, San Jose Therapy, San Jose Psychotherapist, San Jose Psychotherapy, San Jose Psychologist, marriage family therapist, divorce, teen therapy, individual therapy, family therapy, couples counseling, Chris Jones, MFT

Part 1 can be read by clicking here. Troubleshooting For Problems in Communication  Control or Power Issues: Effective communication cannot take place if one person has “control” over the other or where there is not mutual respect and equality of relationship. To stay in control leads to relational isolation as the underdog reacts in anger […]

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Communicating in Relationships – Part 1

communication, relationships, Therapist in San Jose, San Jose Counseling, San Jose Counselor, San Jose Therapist, San Jose Therapy, San Jose Psychotherapist, San Jose Psychotherapy, San Jose Psychologist, marriage family therapist, divorce, teen therapy, individual therapy, family therapy, couples counseling, Chris Jones, MFT

Communication is a vital part of our lives: a typical day involves many interactions between ourselves, our work colleagues and clients, our children, our friends, our ex’s, future relationships, etc. This interaction takes place where we live, work, relax, socialize and wherever we perform routine tasks. Communication skills are critical for building healthy relationships, especially […]

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Why Apologies Are Overrated: “I am so sorry for the harm I have caused”

Rather than seeking forgiveness, how about making things right instead? It has become popular these days to forgive. Or at the very least, to ask for forgiveness. Whether you are Charlie Sheen, Mel Gibson, or Dior’s Creative Director John Galliano, it seems you can say the most offensive things then have your media coach make your […]

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6 Ways to Reconnect with Your Partner After Having Kids – Part 2

san jose, couples counselor, marriage counselor, chris jones

Often it takes a wake up call to realize that you need to spend more time with your partner concentrating on each other instead of spending all of your time with your kids focusing all of your energy on them. If you haven’t read Part 1 of this article, go read it now! In this […]

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6 Ways to Reconnect with Your Partner After Having Kids – Part 1

san jose, couples counselor, marriage counselor, chris jones

After becoming a parent, keeping the relationship between you and your partner flourishing can be a difficult thing to accomplish. There are several simple but crucial changes that you can make to put the focus back on the couple enough to keep their relationship going strong. 1. Create a Date Night To have a romantic […]

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Relationship Problems

couple, counseling, therapy, san jose, counselor, therapist, family, marriage, teenagers Continue Reading...

How to Spot Emotional Unavailability (Part 2)

relationship, emotionally unavailable, distance, alone, priorities, control, perfection, anger, secrecy, therapy, counseling

…continuing How to Spot Emotional Unavailability (Part 1) Most people reveal their emotional availability early on. Pay attention to the facts, especially if there’s mutual attraction. Even if the person seems to be Mr. or Mrs. Right, yet is emotionally unavailable, you’re left with nothing but pain. If you overlook, deny, or rationalize to avoid […]

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How to Spot Emotional Unavailability (Part 1)

relationship, emotionally unavailable, distance, alone, priorities, control, perfection, anger, secrecy, therapy, counseling

If you’ve ever been in a relationship full of emotional unavailability, you know the pain of not being able to get close to the one you love. They’re evasive, make excuses, or are just inept when it comes to talking about feelings or the relationship. Some use anger, criticism, or activities to create distance. You […]

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9 Things Not to Say to Someone with Mental Illness

mental illness, insensitive, positive suggestions, support, feelings, compassion, treatment, therapy, counseling

Julie Fast’s friend went to the hospital for a terrible colitis attack. “It was so serious they sent her straight to the ER.” After reviewing her medical records and seeing that her friend was taking an antidepressant, the intake nurse said, “Maybe this is all in your head.” When it comes to mental illness, people […]

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The Empty Nest: Opportunity or Crisis? (Part 2)

empty nest syndrome, change, parents, spontaneity, role model, self care, partnership, intimacy, therapy, adjustment

…continuing from Part 1 of The Empty Nest: Opportunity or Crisis It can be a crisis: If the kids have been the primary focus of your life. As important as it is to love our children and love the job of parenting, it’s also a stage of life, not the whole of it. Those who have thrown […]

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The Empty Nest: Opportunity or Crisis? (Part 1)

empty nest syndrome, change, parents, spontaneity, role model, self care, partnership, intimacy, therapy, adjustment

Feelings of loss and anxiety about change when the last child leaves home are normal. But it often has been pathologized in popular culture as a disorder, disease or condition that needs treatment. Usually it’s not and it doesn’t. In fact, the “empty nest syndrome” usually doesn’t exist at all. For most families, the last kid going […]

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10 Rules for Friendly Fighting for Couples

fight, argue, negotiate, friendly fighting, conflict, respect, yelling, agreement, concessions, peace

For some people, this is a truly radical idea: There is no need to fight with your partner. Ever. Accusations, recriminations, character assassination, threats, name-calling, and cursing, whether delivered at top volume or with a quiet sarcastic sneer, damage a relationship, often irrevocably. Nobody needs to be a monster or to be treated monstrously. Nobody who yells will ever […]

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5 Styles of Family Relating

How well does your family function emotionally? Families operate at different levels of emotional health. One way of measuring the well being of family relations is the Beavers Scale of Family Functioning, named for its creator, psychiatrist W. Robert Beavers. The family is a system of emotional relationships and the Beavers scale identifies five developmental levels […]

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Evolution and Bad Boyfriends

Throughout history and in societies all over the world, parents have tried to influence the love lives of their children — with mixed success. Parents and children frequently don’t see eye to eye on what makes a suitable partner, as studies across cultures have confirmed. Whenever a pattern of human behavior is widespread, there is […]

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8 Benefits of Kissing

Did you know about kissing’s power to lift the mood? Kissing stimulates the feel-good chemicals in the brain, mainly serotonin, dopamine and oxytocin…this is great news! So what are the health benefits of kissing? Kissing boosts your self-esteem by making you feel loved and connected. A German study even found that men who were kissed by their […]

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Is Parenting Drowning Your Marriage? 6 Tips to Help Reconnect with Your Partner

It’s a too-familiar story. James and Cindy have come in for couples counseling because they worry they have grown apart. With three children under the age of 12, they want to see if they can salvage their marriage. They can’t imagine breaking up the family even though they feel they are breaking up. Cindy is […]

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