Category Archives: Individual Concerns

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Emotions: Is It Important To Take Responsibility For How We Feel?

emotions, Therapist in San Jose, San Jose Counseling, San Jose Counselor, San Jose Therapist, San Jose Therapy, San Jose Psychotherapist, San Jose Psychotherapy, San Jose Psychologist, marriage family therapist, divorce, teen therapy, individual therapy, family therapy, couples counseling, Chris Jones, MFT

If one was to think about someone they appreciate, there is a strong chance that they will end up feeling ‘good’. Yet, if they were to think about someone who presses their buttons, for instance, they are unlikely to have the same emotional experience. And when they feel good, there is not much chance of […]

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Authenticity – Why People Aren’t Themselves and What That Costs Them

authenticity, Therapist in San Jose, San Jose Counseling, San Jose Counselor, San Jose Therapist, San Jose Therapy, San Jose Psychotherapist, San Jose Psychotherapy, San Jose Psychologist, marriage family therapist, divorce, teen therapy, individual therapy, family therapy, couples counseling, Chris Jones, MFT

Why should you be yourself? The simple answer is ‘because everyone else is taken’ – it’s both the simple answer and an accurate answer. The important question is ‘why are we not ourselves?’ What is the pay off for not being ourselves? Ahhh, now we’re talking. To begin with, what would cause us to not […]

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How To Conquer Anxiety

conquer anxiety, Therapist in San Jose, San Jose Counseling, San Jose Counselor, San Jose Therapist, San Jose Therapy, San Jose Psychotherapist, San Jose Psychotherapy, San Jose Psychologist, marriage family therapist, divorce, teen therapy, individual therapy, family therapy, couples counseling, Chris Jones, MFT

Anxiety can be good, like when it alerts you to danger, or motivates you to complete tasks. However, anxiety becomes a problem when it makes you so fearful that it affects your life negatively. You might have physical symptoms, like a rapid heartbeat or shortness of breath, or have difficulty doing the things you need […]

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Don’t Get Stressed Out Trying to De-Stress!

meditate, therapist in san jose, de-stress

Yoga and meditation will never help you de-stress until you understand this first. Are you tired and fed up of being told that you need to de-stress your life? Are you confused over what you “should” do (versus what you “want” to do) because there are so many methods and “musts” about how de-stressing should […]

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On the Benefits of Failure

benefits of failure, Therapist in San Jose, San Jose Counseling, San Jose Counselor, San Jose Therapist, San Jose Therapy, San Jose Psychotherapist, San Jose Psychotherapy, San Jose Psychologist, marriage family therapist, divorce, teen therapy, individual therapy, family therapy, couples counseling, Chris Jones, MFT

Failure is nothing to be ashamed of! We live in a competitive society that has big winners and big losers. Educators, motivation experts, life coaches, sport psychologists and other mentors mainly teach us how to approach success, how to be winners. Few teach us a much more valuable lesson – how to cope with failure. […]

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Up All Night: The Effects of Sleep Loss on Mood

mood, Therapist in San Jose, San Jose Counseling, San Jose Counselor, San Jose Therapist, San Jose Therapy, San Jose Psychotherapist, San Jose Psychotherapy, San Jose Psychologist, marriage family therapist, divorce, teen therapy, individual therapy, family therapy, couples counseling, Chris Jones, MFT

Last night you stayed up late (out with friends, taking care of crying child, preparing for a presentation, watching marathon episodes of your favorite show), and today, when you’re already running low on sleep, it seems as if the whole world is out to get you. Why is everyone so irritating? Why is the traffic […]

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How Food Affects Your Moods – Part II

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Continuing from Part I… 5. Move to a Mediterranean Diet The Mediterranean diet is a balanced, healthy eating pattern that includes plenty of fruits, nuts, vegetables, cereals, legumes, and fish — all of which are important sources of nutrients linked to preventing depression. A recent Spanish study, using data from 4,211 men and 5,459 women, […]

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Emotional Impact of Being Unfriended

Emerging research from the University of Colorado Denver explores the relatively new experience of being unfriended on Facebook. One study clarifies the most common type of “friend” to be unfriended while another looks at the emotional impact of the action. The studies, published earlier this year, show that the most likely person to be unfriended […]

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Aromatherapy: The Good Smells That Can Make You Happier

We take the power of scent too lightly. To surround self or surroundings with scent, even demurely, has tremendous potential. Aromatherapy can play a part in wellness, but its applications go way beyond the massage room at the spa. Some new takes on good smells — even some that you may recognize — follow below. […]

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Why Apologies Are Overrated: “I am so sorry for the harm I have caused”

Rather than seeking forgiveness, how about making things right instead? It has become popular these days to forgive. Or at the very least, to ask for forgiveness. Whether you are Charlie Sheen, Mel Gibson, or Dior’s Creative Director John Galliano, it seems you can say the most offensive things then have your media coach make your […]

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A Message to Moms after Divorce: Help Your Daughters Avoid ‘Daddy Hunger’ – Part II

san jose, counseling, chris jones, self esteem, divorce, family issues, parenting

Continued from Part I… Here are five ways moms can encourage daughters to have a good relationship with their dads: Recognize that your ex is your children’s parent and deserves respect for that reason alone. If your children hear you make negative comments about your ex, it can have a detrimental impact on them. Modeling […]

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5 Ways to Prepare for a Low Mood

When your mood dips, it can help to have a plan you’ve already prepared. What are we going to do if the worst happens? Unfortunately, every successful organization or business has to face the fact that something’s probably going to go seriously wrong at some stage. Fire, floods, theft, intentional – or unintentional – damage […]

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5 Reasons the Number on the Scale Doesn’t Matter – Part 2

eating disorders, counseling, san jose, chris jones

Young people all over are focused on how much they weigh, how they look, and what they are eating. This is often a result of the media, and the pressure they put on young girls in particular to look a certain way. This is a rebuttal, a few reasons why how much you weigh shouldn’t […]

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5 Reasons the Number on the Scale Doesn’t Matter – Part 1

eating disorders, counseling, san jose, chris jones

More and more young people are developing eating disorders every day, and there is little we are able to do to stop this. There are many misconceptions about eating disorders, like boys and men don’t get them, you have to be thin to have one, or that Anorexia and Bulimia are the only two eating […]

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Top 3 Techniques to Handle Difficult Emotions

san jose, counseling, chris jones, emotions

Top 3 Techniques to Handle Difficult Emotions One of the most difficult things that we have to overcome before we can heal from challenging emotions is how much our thoughts can dominate us. Even though it is easy to become used to the idea that our thoughts rule us, in reality, we should try to […]

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10 Tips for a Better Night’s Sleep – Part 2

san jose, counseling, chris jones, mood swings

Getting a good night’s sleep can affect the way you feel throughout the day, and there are many things you may be doing that are affecting the restfulness of your sleep that you don’t even realize you are doing. In part 2 of this article, we will continue to go over the things that might […]

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10 Tips for a Better Night’s Sleep – Part 1

san jose, counseling, chris jones, mood swings

Sleep is an extremely important aspect of everybody’s lives. Without it, things like hormone regulation and the healing process would get thrown off. Sleep regulates important hormones like melatonin, seratonin, and dopamine, which influence mood, motivation, sleep and cravings. This is the first part in our 2 part series on tips for getting a better […]

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What Influences Our Happiness the Most: What factors are crucial to well-being?

happiness, unhappy, genetics, experimental social psychologist,

I have two friends, Seth and Michael, and one of them is a lot happier than the other. Seth is chronically unhappy. He is often glum, frequently irritable, and sometimes hopeless, though he has never been clinically depressed. By contrast, Michael is a remarkable happy person. Although he has his low moments and periodic stress, he […]

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How to Spot Emotional Unavailability (Part 2)

relationship, emotionally unavailable, distance, alone, priorities, control, perfection, anger, secrecy, therapy, counseling

…continuing How to Spot Emotional Unavailability (Part 1) Most people reveal their emotional availability early on. Pay attention to the facts, especially if there’s mutual attraction. Even if the person seems to be Mr. or Mrs. Right, yet is emotionally unavailable, you’re left with nothing but pain. If you overlook, deny, or rationalize to avoid […]

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How to Spot Emotional Unavailability (Part 1)

relationship, emotionally unavailable, distance, alone, priorities, control, perfection, anger, secrecy, therapy, counseling

If you’ve ever been in a relationship full of emotional unavailability, you know the pain of not being able to get close to the one you love. They’re evasive, make excuses, or are just inept when it comes to talking about feelings or the relationship. Some use anger, criticism, or activities to create distance. You […]

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9 Things Not to Say to Someone with Mental Illness

mental illness, insensitive, positive suggestions, support, feelings, compassion, treatment, therapy, counseling

Julie Fast’s friend went to the hospital for a terrible colitis attack. “It was so serious they sent her straight to the ER.” After reviewing her medical records and seeing that her friend was taking an antidepressant, the intake nurse said, “Maybe this is all in your head.” When it comes to mental illness, people […]

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The Empty Nest: Opportunity or Crisis? (Part 2)

empty nest syndrome, change, parents, spontaneity, role model, self care, partnership, intimacy, therapy, adjustment

…continuing from Part 1 of The Empty Nest: Opportunity or Crisis It can be a crisis: If the kids have been the primary focus of your life. As important as it is to love our children and love the job of parenting, it’s also a stage of life, not the whole of it. Those who have thrown […]

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The Empty Nest: Opportunity or Crisis? (Part 1)

empty nest syndrome, change, parents, spontaneity, role model, self care, partnership, intimacy, therapy, adjustment

Feelings of loss and anxiety about change when the last child leaves home are normal. But it often has been pathologized in popular culture as a disorder, disease or condition that needs treatment. Usually it’s not and it doesn’t. In fact, the “empty nest syndrome” usually doesn’t exist at all. For most families, the last kid going […]

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Harm Can Continue Even After Bullying Stops

bullying, health effects, anxiety, depression, self esteem, teenagers, kids, anger, fear, psychotherapy, counseling, therapy

Intervening early to stop bullying is important because the health effects – including anxiety, depression and impaired self-worth – can persist even after bullying stops, a study shows. The study examines “how the effects of bullying can compound over time or snowball” by focusing on students’ past and present bullying experiences, says Laura Bogart, a […]

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How To Buy Happiness

happiness, money, memory, experiences, possessions, fulfillment

What good is money if it can’t buy happiness? In the latest survey of U.S. college freshmen, when over two hundred thousand students at 279 colleges and universities were asked about their most important life goals, 77 percent checked off “being very well off financially.” But what does achieving this goal mean for our ultimate well-being? […]

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Helping Teenagers Recognize Toxic Friendships

toxic friendship, friendships, unhealthy, teenagers, therapist, red flags, signals, signs

Ending a friendship is a very personal decision. Everyone has his or her own threshold — his or her own breaking point. Perceptions of what may be considered ‘toxic’ can vary, depending on the individual. And, the connection to another person in a friendship could be strong, which may outweigh the negatives present within the […]

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Who Can Use a Vision Board? Everyone!

san jose, therapy, counselor, marriage, couples, family, teen, vision board, chris jones, licensed marriage family therapist, mft

We often here the question, “Who are vision boards for?” and the answer is anyone who has a goal or dream they want to achieve.  One thing to keep in mind is vision boards are universal; everyone and anyone can use them. In this post I will share how vision boards can benefit all of us. Recently, […]

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10 Rules for Friendly Fighting for Couples

fight, argue, negotiate, friendly fighting, conflict, respect, yelling, agreement, concessions, peace

For some people, this is a truly radical idea: There is no need to fight with your partner. Ever. Accusations, recriminations, character assassination, threats, name-calling, and cursing, whether delivered at top volume or with a quiet sarcastic sneer, damage a relationship, often irrevocably. Nobody needs to be a monster or to be treated monstrously. Nobody who yells will ever […]

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Stop Trusting Yourself: Becoming Self Aware

trust, promise, self awareness, counseling, therapist

TRUST is a double-edged sword. Though you can accomplish more in life if you put your faith in others, doing so also leaves you vulnerable. If your friend, business partner or political ally betrays you, he benefits — in terms of money, power or some other resource — at your expense. This risk is the […]

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